Like I feel like that would be an obvious thing,

I would have NEVER thought of this…

How are there no personal versions for wandering around on a sunny day with portable shade that gets you a charged battery pack?

Oh my god! THATS what umbrella man was doing! Whew! Solved a huge conspiracy there!

…wait, but that STILL proves he was a time traveler! Dammit!

Comic sans wasn’t invented yet.

I mean, I joke, but it probably actually wasn’t.

And as always, Jurassic Park teaches us everything we need to know.

“They’re moving in herds…they DO move in herds!”

Where do you take them?

Well hello there!

slams face into wall

skips away giggling

Why do we not simply transplant the hair from the mice, onto the humans?

I hope linked it right.

Welp…

Don’t make new communities for topics that already have communities on Lemmy. You CAN, but, like all things in life, Jurassic Park teaches us best.

“Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they COULD they never stopped to think if they SHOULD!”

And as we all know, if you ignore the teachings of Jurassic Park, a T-Rex will eat you as you sit on the toilet.

Treat women the same way that you treat men.

Oh god, that’s terrible advice!

Me with men: “Damn Frank! You see that hottie by the bar?”

“Yeah. I spent the night with her last week! And then again in the morning!”

“Nice!” slaps Franks ass

everybody laughs

The next day:

“Damn Amber! You see that hot stud by the bar?”

“The…the what?”

looks over to bar, only see one person, a guy

“That’s my husband. Wait…are you bi?”

“No. Just treating you like one of the guys. So that’s your husband? Nice!”

slaps ambers ass

deafing silence as Amber rightfully glares

I don’t. And I don’t understand why I’m the only one who just in general would rather hear silence then music.

…I think your wife wants to dress you up in dresses?

Lets eat grandma!

Me.

…well god damn.

I’m into tech.

I use linux (though I don’t understand it, and it drives me crazy)

I’m literally a mod of fuck_ai

Not a Marxist.

I’d say I’m liberal.

I’m a straight guy, but I’d say I’m pro-queer in the sense that I think they deserve to be happy and treated just like everybody else.

I’m an introvert. hides under covers

Also, I like comic books, model trains, video games, and blowjobs. Is there anybody else on Lemmy like me?

This just proves that we’re all NPCs, and she’s the main character.

I kinda want to date your ex. I need someone like that in my life.

Like clockwork I continue to not be subscribed to peacock, or any other streaming, for this very reason.

Pay X amount per month, for a selection of content you don’t control, have no ownership of, cannot retain a copy of (longterm), and whose price is subject to change at any time.

Ooooorrrrrrr…I could buy physical media, and rip my own permanent copy, which never expires, andwhose cost is a one time purchase.

Why the fuck is physical media dying??? Oh, right. I live in the same country that willingly voted for trump, and are now shocked to learn he’s a shitty person.

In other words, I’m surrounded by morons.

The woman does a handstand, then the man walks over and blows raspberries on her belly, as she blows raspberries on his belly. Pretty soon orgasms are flowing.

Let’s test this out!

You don’t eat the ass? Hmmmmm, we’re doing it very differently.

blood dripping from corners of mouth

I think that’s called having depression.