Google Assistant has become so awful in the past few years.
Ok Google, give me directions to John’s house
“Ok, navigating you to John’s Lake House Restaurant”
Bitch, I have a SAVED ADDRESS in Google Maps titled “John’s House.” Why would you not assume I wanted to go there instead of some restaurant 3 hours away?
Yeah, Like, we are facing a world where faking a celebrity’s voice and having it respond to everything you say completely life-like is a matter of minutes while the “smart” speaker in your house talks like a robocall from the 90s and doesn’t understand a single thing when you don’t adhere to a very specific command syntax.
Ok Google, switch off the TV.(that is in the same room as you in the Google home app)
“I’m sorry, I don’t know how to help with that”
Ok Google, switch off the TV in the living room
“There was a problem. Please try again in a few seconds”
Gnah! Ok Google, switch off the TV in the living room!!!
“Okay, 10h Video of switch off sounds is being played on the device ‘bedroom’” What. The. Fuck.?!
The only use I have for Google Assistant is to call people when I’m in my car, and even then it doesn’t work correctly.
"Call " -> Calls a business in a neighbouring country which happens to have the same (common) name as my wife.
"Call " -> Calls my wife.
"Call " -> Calls another business in the same neighbouring country which name contains my father’s first and last name.
"Call " -> Calls my father.
Wtf really. Those two businesses must keep wondering who’s that number that keeps calling them at absurd times from another country and never leaves a message, because I can never remember who I must use the full name of…
I just asked that the other day to do what I would consider. One of the most basic tasks, add something to my shopping list. It didn’t and I got to the store and it said I had no list, so I really don’t know why I have them anymore except for speaker abilities
Google Assistant has become so awful in the past few years.
Ok Google, give me directions to John’s house
“Ok, navigating you to John’s Lake House Restaurant”
Bitch, I have a SAVED ADDRESS in Google Maps titled “John’s House.” Why would you not assume I wanted to go there instead of some restaurant 3 hours away?
Yeah, Like, we are facing a world where faking a celebrity’s voice and having it respond to everything you say completely life-like is a matter of minutes while the “smart” speaker in your house talks like a robocall from the 90s and doesn’t understand a single thing when you don’t adhere to a very specific command syntax.
OK Google, search for Asparagus and feta appetizer recipe
“I’m sorry, I don’t know how to help with that” and then closes.
SHOW ME THE SEARCH RESULTS
Ok Google, switch off the TV.(that is in the same room as you in the Google home app)
“I’m sorry, I don’t know how to help with that”
Ok Google, switch off the TV in the living room
“There was a problem. Please try again in a few seconds”
Gnah! Ok Google, switch off the TV in the living room!!!
“Okay, 10h Video of switch off sounds is being played on the device ‘bedroom’”
What. The. Fuck.?!
It’s no better with Siri.
An example:
“Hey Siri, play some Slayer on music”
“You’ll have to unlock your iPhone first”
Picks up phone to unlock with face unlock while driving so Siri will let me even use her.
“Hey siri play some slayer on Music”
“Sorry, there is no playlist called Slayer in your music library”
“Hey siri play some slayer from Apple Music”
“Okay, calling Sarah”
The only use I have for Google Assistant is to call people when I’m in my car, and even then it doesn’t work correctly.
Wtf really. Those two businesses must keep wondering who’s that number that keeps calling them at absurd times from another country and never leaves a message, because I can never remember who I must use the full name of…
Your Dad: Mr. Zealand. Mr. New Zealand.
You can tell it your relationship to your contacts and then you can just say “call my wife” or “call my dad” and it’ll work.
I just asked that the other day to do what I would consider. One of the most basic tasks, add something to my shopping list. It didn’t and I got to the store and it said I had no list, so I really don’t know why I have them anymore except for speaker abilities