Does anyone else feel a degree of imposter syndrome with work, like it’s only matter of time until you can’t work around your ADHD enough to avoid problems and everything falls apart?

I’m currently provisionally diagnosed with ADHD, pending further testing. I managed to get a degree and was working for a few years when someone recommended I get tested where I proceeded to finally pass this one test with flying colors…

My experience with work is that in the beginning, my attitude and enthusiasm to learn tends to give my bosses the impression that I have so much potential.

Then, cue the slow car crash that is me failing to meet that potential, then the cracks starting to show due to disorganisstion or task paralysis in my work, eventually putting me in a position where my competency is questioned and I’m falling behind on work because I’m struggling to meet (imo) great expectations that might seem realistic to neurotypical people, but is a struggle for me.

Then I jump ship to a new job, and the cycle restarts.

I thought I had a handle on my latest job. Stayed for just over a year. I thought this was it, I wasn’t an imposter, I was finally fitting in. Then cracks, and everything fell apart and I’m now at risk of losing my job again. I tried my best, and I just feel disappointed in myself, like even I can’t trust myself to do things right even at max effort.

This sucks.

  • Azzu@lemm.eeEnglish
    3·
    11 months ago

    I just want to chime in real quick, with something that’s not quite helpful (at least at first). Your fear is actually affecting your behavior towards others in your company, like your bosses. Of course I don’t know your situation, but it’s pretty likely that if you’d just confidently do everything the same as you’re doing now performance-wise, acting as if the mistakes are not a big deal and you just fix them, you’d have absolutely no problems right now.

    This is not helpful in the sense that it adds another thing to worry about, but for me it was very helpful in the sense that I could actually forget about my performance and not worry about it anymore, and replace it with that other thing. And once I had figured out how to act confident in face of my mistakes, even that went away.

    • snooggums@kbin.social
      2·
      11 months ago

      This is not helpful in the sense that it adds another thing to worry about, but for me it was very helpful in the sense that I could actually forget about my performance and not worry about it anymore, and replace it with that other thing. And once I had figured out how to act confident in face of my mistakes, even that went away.

      I can confirm this works too! Fake it till you make it really does work because it is basically practice.