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Cake day: June 18th, 2023

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  • The critical hit captured live on national television looked like a cutscene from a new fallout game.

    Zucks passing dominates the new cycle for almost 10 minutes before the enthusiasm about a new fallout game completely overshadows him.

    A few years later no one’s ever heard the name Zuckerberg outside of memes about that one oligarch who got melted by the space aliens shortly after first contact.

    It turns out he’s the reason they came here, "You can’t let those things get established on your planet, clearly your people didn’t notice but that wasn’t a human. That creature was a mimic and it would have consumed you all if you let it. We’re going to station a few folks here in case another one shows up… and you got to clean this place up it’s a mess down here. "


  • Yes, of course he must be prosecuted if he can be found. As a member of the general population I feel as though it’s possible that a jury wouldn’t convict him and could even find him not guilty. Then he is a free man.

    Until his identity is known I shall call him Attaboy Goodman, and if a jury were to convene with me on it, I would be unlikely to take seriously any claim by the state that this vigilantism is somehow more destructive of public order than police murdering and robbing people while ignoring wage theft and corporate crimes.


  • One time I went to the restaurant DAMON BAEHREL. I was informed afterwards that it had a 10-year waiting list and only seated 100 people a month. Despite having regularly commuted between the Midwest and the East Coast, getting there felt like the longest road trip I’ve ever taken since I had to go with my mother-in-law and some of it is on a gravel road.

    I had to Google DAMON BAEHREL to spell it and I’m not going to bother retyping it.

    It was far and away the most pretentious, absurd, cartoonishly fancy experience I’ve ever had, and I’ve dressed up in antique ceremonial Moroccan robes for a banquet at the art museum in the city I grew up in. At the art museum I sat next to the mayor’s mother in a room of 200 people conversely, about 30 people total could fit into DAMON BAEHREL.

    I thought the art museum banquet was fancy, but when I was little I thought Boston Market and IBC root beer were fancy.

    DAMON BAEHREL was the kind of place that serves a dozen ‘courses’ but each one is like one cracker one sliver of cheese and one spritz of condiment with maybe a sliver of sausage made from some bespoke farm animal. He insisted that the water we were drinking was actually unreduced tree sap. Everything was served on various slabs of wood some with the bark still on it. The slabs were so much larger than the food It looked like putting a coin on a serving platter for each course.

    I just felt embarrassed every time I looked at the Damon and his staff. They had clearly heard his bullshit so many times that it was hard for them to feign credulity anymore.

    Anyway, that shit was way too fancy for me. Clearly it was just wasted on me.





  • I didn’t win the love of the mother of my child for anything I did yesterday. I did it because of what she expects tomorrow.

    The higher her expectations, the better I must be doing. I never want to give her an excuse to lower those expectations and none of them have to do with fancy gifts, expensive dates or anything like that.

    Love is grand but it is built from small devotions.

    Trying to be the man Fred Rogers said I could be was a good place to start. She found me there and we got here together. I couldn’t be happier.



  • …and the NBA is supported by the taxpayer.

    The entire business model of professional sports requires socializing the cost of infrastructure through subsidizing the transportation, location, and logistics and exempting every one of these monopoly wealth getting schemes from labor laws, antitrust, and public review.

    The NBA, NFL, MLB, etc are a scam And they need to learn how to pay their own bills.






  • AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.worldtoTechnology@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    7 months ago

    Communism is incompatible with private property or classes which is why no matter how many states write “communism” on the tin, what they actually put in it is just fascist enforced state capitalism.

    China is not more communist or even socialist than the USA. A strong ruling class loves fascism and hates socialism. They are actively hostile to communism.