Pretty sure Hilton will just sell you one

“Aside from people who [benefit from self-checkout], it’s hard to see who benefits from self-checkout.

I’m at 17, no lie.

Took me a minute that he wasn’t talking about an actor pretending to be dead, so I was confused at first.

In the early 90s I bought a second hand IKEA twin bed. It has survived a transatlantic move and is still around.

They probably just need a drink. Offer them a Molotov Cocktail.

Zeno. The name is Zeno.

Way back around 2010 or so, when Siri was still new, it was really bad and I found myself regularly cussing her out. I thought that might be bad to always associate these things with a woman, so I switched it to a male voice, intending to toggle back and forth every so often. I’ve yet to switch back.

Xeet. Pronounced like you think it is.

Someone might be going in for an annual checkup, so you can’t just assume that something is wrong.

Ask them for their social security number, mother’s maiden name, favorite pet, favorite teacher, high school mascot. It should start to dawn on them