I aim to be more human. I aim to be less apathetic as a human. Apathy grows, like a tree, and I aim to prune my own.

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 23rd, 2023

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  • When I get decent sleep, I often lucid dream. I didn’t really practice, I’m just usually aware that I’m dreaming (maybe because I’m on drugs to suppress nightmares, so I’m just really aware of dreams).

    I have a dream town I frequent, it’s… usually interestingly mundane though. I don’t need excitement often, just things I can’t do in real life, like taking stuff I want (collectibles!!), playing free at the arcade, eating free in fancy places, drinking free in the nice socializing bar, breathing underwater or flying sometimes if it fits the exploration…

    It’s a really consistent sort of place that just grows over time, as more places are added and incorporated as welcoming spaces to explore. There’s even a glass water garden/aquarium/pool that reminds me of some final fantasy shit. And recently a massive underground transit structure was added on that has high-speed shuttles to different large attractions, and a whole new residential tower (for some reason I have a room on the 4th floor, it might be a college dorm), so that was an excellent confusing dream to have for several days.

    There’s a house in it that’s sort of my landing pad. A mix of a lot of places I’ve lived or been that just keeps growing over time. It’s got dozens of spaces to explore that mix in things I want and things I know, and just some creepy huge empty spaces that will probably get filled in later but are just full of weird junk I haven’t unpacked at the moment.

    I like to just explore the town and surrounding areas, and do things with random people. I don’t really do that in life anymore, so. I’d love to build it in VR but I have no idea how to do that. It seems perfectly suited for it.

    I used to get a lot of false awakenings when I pushed too hard to control the story or environment, and I found those to be wildly unpleasant (nightmare reasons), so I don’t exert much control now. I can, but it’s more fun to go with the fantastical and let the adventure play out, fully aware that this new space I’m dreaming about is going to be a recurring space I can explore again in different ways later.


  • I think you might have missed something in your zeal, which is fine. We need more passion about such things. Just directed the right way.

    But the point being made before your comment was that anyone should be allowed to sleep -at least in their own- car, which you seem to agree with. And any public parking places where a car can sleep should be fine for a human to also sleep within said car, which you also seem to agree with.

    This isn’t about having a car or not, and its not really about sleeping in a car you find, it’s about how it’s used if it is owned by the person who wants to use it that’s being discussed. So if someone already owns a car and wants or needs to live out of it, we can agree that’s ok (everyone involved in this thread is agreeing here). And if there’s a place that is appropriate for cars to be whether anyone is in them or not, that place should be fine with people sleeping as well. (Pretty sure everyone is agreeing with that, too)

    So, everyone agrees, yay! No need to condescend when everyone agrees with you :)

    If you want to expand the topic to shelter wherever you find it, that’s a great conversation to have. It’s just not actually the one being had.



  • how does pop handle touchscreen devices, do you know? The only machine I have left that I’d install something different on is my laptop, and its touchscreen but fully discretionary. The others are a server which I’m not touching because PITA, and a shitty ram-deficient thing I use for watching Plex in my bedroom, but it doesn’t run anything well at all for whatever reason - I tried antixlinux, mint, and a few other lightweight distros, and they all ran like shit. Probably failing hardware, idk.

    Ubuntu handles touchscreen and hdmi output ok, it seems, but that laptop is still windows for now because idk if I need it to be windows for my next job… I guess I can reinstall it, since keys are hardware encoded now… for that device I don’t -really- need good file management, just compatibility.

    I’ve thought about pop, but never really looked into it because nobody ever, like, recommends it for anything I guess? Like I never hear about it…



  • I honestly wish I liked mint because there’s such a robust community for it, but I really can’t stand it. My first Linux experience a decade back or so was Ubuntu and it felt -right- like android. I liked it very much because it did all the things I needed, and it felt good to use, like something I was familiar with (android!). The power file management was an absolute bonus and I just love it so much. But it’s based on iOS allegedly? I fucking hate iOS on mobile but maybe it’s the macOS? Idk. It’s not at all like iPhone iOS at least.

    And I haven’t found the same experience on any other distro despite trying several, so here’s me back to Ubuntu every time… because it feels good to use.

    And “Ubuntu bad because reasons” and I get that for not me, but I don’t have the energy to figure out how to make Debian do what Ubuntu just already does. And the really niche distros I’ve tried idk how to make work for my needs, as noob.

    At least it isn’t windows…






  • I think this played out in my home last year around this time. (You can just skip reading it; this is catharsis for me…) (I’m debating just deleting this catharsis but I’m going to post it because I wrote it…)

    I had one cat who hated everyone but me and sometimes her housemate. She was 16, but in pretty good health. The other I’d had for 10 years but idk how old he was, probably 5-10 when I got him. They didn’t get along that well, but he gave her space. He was a lover with multiple health issues who was on his way out for years. Importantly, he left her alone for the most part. She liked that about him.

    I wanted kittens to learn his hyper-friendly ways and be good with her, too, because I thought she’d be around a while yet, and at least a few months on loverboy, so I got a pair from a barn. Runts; the only ones they could catch. Way too fragile to be in my care, but probably had a better chance with me.

    One week after the kittens came home, the friendly cat had to be put down, he was ready to go, stopped eating and wouldn’t cuddle, he told me he was ready. So I scheduled it. I was ready for that to happen and had been since 2016 when the vet said he had 6 mths left. In retrospect he was telling me that for a while before that and I didn’t pick it up. That’s on me, and I accept it.

    Next morning, the day of the euthanasia, woke up to one of the kittens being gone, she was failing to thrive and I didn’t think she was going to make it, but it still sucked really hard. They are buried together because other people seem to think that’s poetic or something… he waited for her, or some such. And that sounds nice so I went with it. (this was 15JUL)

    The remaining kitten was depressed as hell, wouldn’t play or do anything for days, and even the crabby 16 seemed sad that her companion of the past 10 years was gone… got another kitten from that same barn but the grief did its damage… the kittens were ok with each other but they aren’t siblings or anything and they haven’t really bonded the way I’d like.

    Just when the kittens were starting to win over the crabby girl, she up and stroked out on me out of nowhere on 02SEP, plunging my house further into chaos (I was ready for my boy to go… I wasn’t expecting that…)

    Now I have a cat (kitten no longer) who suckles blankets for comfort, and another who gets misplaced aggressive when she sees another cat (and sometimes squirrels??). So you know, the trauma is real, and idk really how to help them, but it was a lot for them to experience in their formative stages… and I mean I was depressed about it the whole time too (as an unrelated bonus, one of my turtles died in November…), so that certainly didn’t help…