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Joined 1 month ago
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Cake day: March 24th, 2026

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  • I’ve never had such a toxic statement come from the person who is supposed to look out for their employees wellbeing. They at least act like they have your best interest at heart.

    Sorry to hear about your rough time. If I can share an insight, in tye hopes you find it helpful; you have an overly high view of what managers are and do. Good ones try to do this, but the default is not this at all.

    Your managers are there to make sure you get the job done in a manner consistent with their operating policies and proceedures. This can vary a lot depending on the job and industry, but it usually means, fast and cheap and profitable.

    At no point does your well being enter into the equation. The very rare exceotion is for highly skilled ultra-rare empoyees in critical roles. They are too valuable to lose and get some consideration. Everyone else is disposable.

    It’s cheaper and easier to fire somone you lose confidence in, than it is to deal with someone with chronic issues who can’t seperate their personal and professional life. Your messaging would be interpreted by most managers in this context. You’re sowing the seeds of doubt and it can’t help and can only hurt your standing in a company.

    My advice, seek comfort and support outside of work. Don’t let your boss know anything worse than cold&flu. Never share chronic conditions unless absolutely necessary. It almost never help, but can and will be used against you in a court of employer opinion.

    Source: Am manager, Have hired and fired many times, never because I wanted to. Always because the business demanded it.





  • Online dating is a bit of a misnomer. It’s not dating. It allows people to optimize selection based on superficiality, and stops anyone from from getting to know anyone. It’s also high stakes because arranged meets with matches are purpose driven.

    Put it down. Turn it off. Go do something you love and meet people. All sorts of people. Have fun, casually. Somewhere in there, you’ll find someone special.

    (Not directed to you OP, just online daters in general)









  • I sympathise, but the cliché is not strictly true. Nature is all about diversity. Just like humans have a certain ratio of “bad apples” born where someone is hard wired wrong, so do dogs, and likely all animals.

    Psychopathology is real. It would be a mistake to deny Nature it’s agency. There are people who belong in an institution. Dogs perhaps moreso.

    To your point, yes most problems are attributable to bad trainers, but even here there is something missing. Bad breeders - natural reproduction would select for fitness, and truly bad dogs would be limited to a small fraction of background instances. We have lots of people actively breeding killers with outsized agression and fear and ferocity, with hair triggers, on purpose. I’m not talking about guard dogs where fierce protective instincts are balanced with loyalty and bonding and intelligence. I mean literal psychokillers.

    I’m circling around Pit-Bulls and the like, but I need to be clear. The breed is fine. Some of my best friends are pit bulls. Diversity naturally makes most of them good dogs, just more context dependant and trainer demanding. I’m not talking about those. I’m only referring to a small subset that were overbred and the natural background level of freakshow.

    If you’ve only known pets from reputable breeders, accidental litters or the shelter rescues, understand that these select for the good dogs. If that’s all you know, you would have reason to doubt that bad dogs are possible.