The current climate crisis.

I’m a non native speaker and I honestly thought poop was almost like baby speak for excrement. Hell, it even sounds cute. See also: boop. Have I been wrong all along, or is it just your own perspective?

The aspect ratio! With some hard work and intensive empathy training I got over the vertical format being default, but when someone uploads a horizontal video to a vertical format site, and then you’re trying to bring it to full screen on your also horizontal monitor… I could headbutt the monitor in.

I counted pixels once. It took up less than 10% of the display area. Just a fucking thick black (EDIT: or non-video regardless) “border” on 90+% of the monitor. And why? Because of one dipshit deciding they will consider horizontal screens nonexistent (while it’s closer to natural, human vision). I can’t even blame the uploader, sometimes they don’t even know this use case isn’t even handled.

I’m sure this is two separate stories but please tell it like it was one. Extra style points for the two biting each other.

Honestly, if it was me reading about the pixie dust, I would just find it hilarious and probably not mention it, since I got the joke.

I can’t remember the last one, so I’ll tell the one before.

I think I had activated some really primal stuff. You know how so many animals cuddle in a bunch, often in entire groups, to keep warm and sleep together? Yeah, I was basically just lying down, with members from my family, on top of my father’s rhythmically raising-falling belly, right on the edge of falling asleep (within my dream).

It was heaven. The most peaceful I have felt in a looong time. Despite us humans being boney animals (by default), it just felt so soft and comfy. I think it must have been some leftover from ancient hominid (?) life.

• Mom! Look! This frog says my name every time I press down on its belly!
• Leave the poor animal alone, Björk!

This is how I abbreviate avocado smash & eggs. Mostly with two g’s, but still.

Dylan.

Does it mean Donald Trump wearing diapers can’t enter the metro?

The guy is so bad I assume he is that guy of Newcastle. There must be other that guys in other cities - who knows, maybe several; but I would bet at least 15 pence (probably even 20) that if it’s Newcastle then it’s this guy.

Newcastle?

We are the plastic eating bacteria.

This just triggers this memory in me every time: https://youtu.be/BPNzbbXjJsQ?t=108

I have to finish Attack on titan first.

That, and cat hair is much finer.

And the sink strainer is there to save and repurpose the corn.

Just buy a new sink after you unclogged it.

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While we’re at it, make every name start with the surname. I understand why the majority of countries/languages start names with the forename, but finding people in a list of names is just so much easier when they are naturally called Swift Taylor and DeVito Danny.