Ananääs

🤔🤔

I have a drawer in the garage titled “uncle solutions”, it has a collection of rusted wire, bits of electric wire and similar shit for “quick fixes”. I also just bought me and my SO nordic walking sticks, we still need to get matching trekking suits. Oh and I dream about retiring to a remote cottage and growing my own veggies like proper siberian babushka.

I probably would end up in limbo getting splashed by Magikarp

Being ND it feels that my senses are already too much sometimes and they become even more amplified by the amount of stress I experience. Honestly I’d rather have the option to decrease the intensity of sensory experiences than increase it. 😅

There are various factors that increase the risk of course, but according to the doctors for a person this young the exposure is not the reason for getting sick. Epigenetics could be the reason for the increase in young people’s mouth cancers as epigenetic changes in genes can transmit across generations, meaning it’s possible that, for example, environmental exposure that occurred in one generation, could be transmitted even further beyond their children and grandchildren.

Yup. My SO got mouth cancer a couple years back in their early 30’s, even though the operation was succesful and chemo & radiation worked and they’ll be considered cancer-free in about 9 months, the fact that it happened so early means it’s quite likely they’ll get it again. How does one live with that information? And as a partner how do I build my life around it? Of course it’s possible they’ll never get that shit again, but it would be foolish to not prepare ourselves mentally for the worst. If it’s around the head they can’t get more radiation. If it’s in the same place than the previous one they’d would probably lose their ability speak, eat properly etc. The chemo probably made them infertile so if we’d like to have biological childer we have just a couple years to make the decision, and I have restrictions about that so we’d have to look for other opportunities anyways, and we should start looking for them now but we * can’t *. If we move elsewhere, as we’d like to, the chances are they won’t get as good treatment as here. I don’t feel like I’m ready to consider all this in my mid 30’s while I’m still trying to find my place in the world. So yeah, fuck cancer.

I’m usually grumpy in the morning and feeling rarher down until 15-16, after that my mood gets a lot better, evenings and night time is best for me. If I have to wake up really early I feel just empty.

Elvanse can make the afternoon crash worse and it also causes a depression hour at around 17, I’ve tried taking half the dose in the morning and half mid-day and it seems to help with the crashes but it also makes the quality of my sleep worse…

Or “plaa-plaa-plaa”

I just heat up some frozen veggies, pretty good with kimchi!

Raw porridge is a good breakfast (and lunch) option, but you need to put it in the fridge the night before. I mix some oats, seeds, nuts and berries or fruit in a container and add soy/oat milk and some yoghurt (high protein soy yoghurt is best). Fresh dates are a superior sweetener and cinnamon + cardamom give a nice twist. 1/2 container of dry stuff and fill it up with liquid. I used to live on this stuff.

The last encounter with Alexander the Warrior Jar in Elden Ring made me cry. What a brave jar and a good friend.

I think I might’ve cried for other reasons too when playing Elden Ring. :')

Apeshit is out of control angry or excited

… Three

Juusto - Finnish

And some rat taste buds!

Just ask me to select the images with traffic lights in them, of course. Being a human I will fail at least a couple times because I’m not sure if that image with the corner of a traffic light should be selected or not.

Yes, of Angmar

Haven’t heard about them being heat sensitive more than any other pill, but eg. Elvanse capsules start to dissolve if they come in touch with moisture causing them to become fragile, so I’d put a bit of cotton or paper if I were to stash those.

I have Earpeace plugs and the container is hanging from my keyring, the lower compartment holds pills nicely.

Feels, I struggle with the same issue as well. I suppose for me at least it’s the shame I’ve built up over the years for being different/“wrong” all the time and the low self-esteem and fear of rejection it has caused as well as general lack of security in relationships. One ends up expecting anger and rejection from others so of course it tries to avoid being confronted/blamed and instead reason/explain the situation away. Or shift blame. Being on spectrum can make us impulsive and dramatic so being reasonable and taking a step back is difficult when there already is a conflict. It does help me to realize that being AuDHD has a big impact on how I handle (or don’t) conflicts and having this explanation helps me tackle the shame and communicate the reasons for my shittyness to my partner, and change my behavior step by step where needed. It takes a lot of trust though and a shared interest on improving the relationship.