My parents gave me money for some horseback riding lessons, except the cash was in all 5’s and each bill was individually ziploc’d and the bags were taped together in a long strip and I had to pull it out of this box with it all spooled up inside. Apparently it took my stepfather two days to complete. He wanted to do all 2 dollar bills, but the bank didn’t have enough
I have an entire spare dresser that has nothing but these drawers
Next mallard I get will be named that. Even if it’s a girl. Gotta do it for the meme
I got into chickens when my sister started 4H, and when our chickens died suddenly, my grandma got us 3 ducklings as a gift without consulting anyone. They imprinted on me immediately and I was like, “I guess this is my new obsession because I’m a mother now.”
That was 8 years ago. I started off with a Muscovy male, a muscovy female, and a mallard female. We rescued a second Muscovy female a couple years in. I moved to my own place in 2022 and brought the remaining birds with me, which were the Muscovy male and mallard female.
I ordered some more ducklings and rescued a couple birds over the course of 2022 and 2023. Right now I have:
2 female muscovies: Mama Duck and Lady. Mama Duck fights me over eggs, so I have to pull a Skyrim move and put a bucket on her head so I can take her eggs without her attacking me. Lady is very sweet and shows me her eggs and acts all happy when I compliment her best and thank her for the eggs.
A tiny male mallard and his mate who is a female mallard that looks like a male but has laid eggs. Little guy is Sonic (because he runs SO FAST) and his mate is Amy. Amy went through duck menopause about 6 months after I got her, so that’s why she looks like a male in terms of feathers. Without her ovaries producing female hormones, her feathers defaulted back to mostly male. She and Sonic were rescued from a local family who couldn’t care for them anymore.
A male Pekin that doesn’t have male traits but I’ve seen his dick a few times. His name is Salt. He is a lil chonky.
A male khaki Campbell named Pepper. He was purchased with Salt as a baby. They were on sale for 25% off and were 100000% an impulse buy. They’re besties and don’t leave each other’s sides.
A female khaki Campbell named Capri-Sun who yells a lot
A female Pekin named Judy. She’s named after judge Judy because she’s always squinting at me in a judgmental way and interrupts me with sassy quacks any time I talk to her. She’s done this since she was literally only a day old. She has a distinct quack that has a squeak to it.
A female golden layer named Cayenne who is hella chill.
A female Cayuga named Fashionista who is slowly turning from black to white with each molt of her feathers (that’s normal)
Does raising and training ducks count? I’m really good at it. I have care down to a science and I’ve done quite a bit medically because there aren’t any vets that treat ducks around me. I’ve rehabilitated crazy injuries, performed minor surgery, treated severe malnutrition and vitamin deficiencies.
I have trained all of my birds to listen to basic commands and they know their names and respond to them.
I’m okay with not giving someone with disabilities and inheritance if it’ll fuck with any government money they’re getting for their disabilities. You have to handle money in that kind of situation very carefully. My mom is my life insurance beneficiary or whatever it’s called, but the money would be going to my sister. My sister is intellectually and physically disabled and cannot work. My parents handle her finances so she doesn’t lose her disability income, so my mom would be in charge of keeping that money for my sister and using it appropriately. When I make a will, most, if not all, of my shit (my house, car, etc) will go to my mom legally, but my mom knows my sister is the intended recipient and would help figure shit out.
Anyone got a non-paywalled version?
People love a martyr. Our man Luigi has become one, and it’s exactly what the cause has needed.
Worked in insurance for a few months and saw someone with an $8000 deductible.
Was denied life-changing, medically necessary weight loss surgery because my company has less than 50 people employed.
I had to live with a failed gallbladder for a month and a half while the insurance decided if they were gonna pay for surgery. I lost 20lbs in that time because I couldn’t keep anything in my body. I almost died.
One health care facility near me doesn’t accept patients who work at or have previously worked at their competition.
Had my ankle reconstructed last year and the surgery alone billed for $16,000. A piece of foam for my walking boot billed for $150.
My headache medicine would cost me around $1000/month if I didn’t have insurance. With insurance it’s $40/month. My pharmacist helped me sign up for a discount card through the manufacturer so now it’s only $5/month somehow
Got some medical bills sent to collections before the bills ever reached me. By email or paper mail. Haven’t paid any of them and I don’t plan on ever paying them because fuck the people who just sent that shit to collections. Also medical debt is dumb and you just don’t have to pay that shit. They eventually stop bugging you about it and I haven’t seen it reflect on my credit score ever.
A 20 min ambulance ride, with amazing insurance was billed for $575.
My sister almost broke her spinal cord and the insurance gave us the runaround after the corrective vertebrae surgery.
The VA didn’t want to cover the cost of my grandfather’s leg amputations that were a direct result of contact with agent orange in Vietnam.
The VA doesn’t want to cover a coworker’s therapy and medication for PTSD caused by being stationed in the middle east for 4 years.
The VA won’t release my mom’s army medical records because she was part of experimental vaccines when she was in the army. She thinks it was anthrax vaccines, but can’t be sure because nobody will tell her.
My beagle hates it when I do laundry or if my goldendoodle gets perfume at the groomer. Everything MUST be stinky according to the beagle. He does his best to make everything have his hound smell by rubbing all over everything and everyone. I’d be mad if he wasn’t so damn cute when he does it. He makes dumb little noises and gives me side eye as he wiggles around like a doofus
I had an incredibly aggressiveale duck that would come after me all the time. He was big, like 20lbs at least, and I’d kick him in the chest with the side ofy foot when he came at me all angry like. His chest was the meatiest part of him, so I wasn’t worried about damaging him with kinda wimpy kicks. Bastard became soup real quickly, though. Overly aggressive birds in my flock don’t get the privilege of being pets.
My high school mandatory epilepsy training for teachers and staff because the art teacher stepped over me while I was seizing on the floor during class. Other students had to carry me to the nurse because I couldn’t walk right after the seizure. Teacher wouldn’t even call the nurse to let her know what was up
I hang out with horses a few times a week. They’re super therapeutic
That involves money and clients don’t want to do that lol. It’s like pulling teeth to get them to replace shit
I work at an MSP and a lot of our clients have to follow specific security compliance standards. Because Windows 10 is eol soon, we’ve been slowly upgrading folks to 11. I die a little each time I do an upgrade. People, including my coworkers and I, are not happy with it overall, but nobody can do anything because ✨compliance standards✨
In my town, junkies hang out at the laundromat begging for money. The cops show up regularly and haul them off. I saw prostitutes outside of it once, too
Had half my face ripped off my a dog when I was a kid. Doctors put me back together incredibly well and people can’t tell anything happened. I got super lucky. I almost lost my right eye and could have been super disfigured if one of the best pediatric plastic surgeons hadn’t happened to be in town that day.
Worst part was spending the entire summer inside and not being allowed to do many fun things. Got bit right as summer vacation started. I had a prosthetic tearduct until mine grew back and I had to be extra careful because it could come out easily. I also had a gazillion stitches.
It’s a Christmas miracle