Nothing, not an act of a higher power nor the full force of government action, could compel me to drop a deuce off at the motor pool in a public bathroom.

I’d rather die from a perforated colon and subsequent infection.

I have a friend that became one of those people after high school. She made a killing for a few years from whacky people who wanted her to make the placenta into Christmas ornaments… She tried showing me photos of her stretching it over glass balls but I couldn’t stomach it.