Didn’t know that character existed. Definitely going in the rotation.

We have very different wives.

What about your spouse/partner? Maybe they’d have sex with you instead?

they’re insisting on dinner at 3pm

I understand why some people do this (our extended family included), but I fucking HATE it.

I was born in the 90s. I’m a grumpy old man

I feel my bones turning to dust reading this.

Seconding Drinkmate. I replaced my soda stream a while ago and have been very happy.

You’re conflating “at will employment” with “right to work” laws.

Damn Martha and John catching some strays here. Guys, they’re his parents too.

Medium rare with a little bit of butter and thyme.

Plot Twist: You get arrested for using counterfeit money, the date on the money is probably invalid in 1980.

Now I’m genuinely curious if a bank would catch it if you tried using cash from the future. If there wasn’t a redesign, do they check serials and stuff if every other security measure is present?

Get adopted by a ninjutsu master, train your entire childhood, then compete in the kumite for your family’s honor. Watch out for Chong Li, that fucker cheats.

IBM itching to get involved with another genocide. They can track all the undesirables digitally much easier now!

Hell yeah there’s more of us!

That’s too much stress to wake up with. Pretty sure my heart rate spiked a bit just reading the words “sonic drowning soundtrack”

One of our cats HATES when my wife isn’t wearing enough clothing. I can walk around fully nude no problems. My wife wears short shorts and he will get visibly upset and start attacking her until I come defend her. If she puts on pants he goes right back to normal. Doesn’t attack people and is generally pretty chill otherwise. Our cat has the political leanings of the Taliban apparently.

None of the televised major networks are “liberal”. They fall into two categories: corporate and right wing.

No one’s said Network (1976) yet. It’s so prescient it’s kind of scary.

“What’s good for the goose is good for the gaggle” still works

I wish we could get her to commit to keeping Khan.

This will be one of the biggest tests for me with regards to Harris. If she keeps Khan after the election I think she’s at least somewhat serious about cracking down on corporations.

“Bees are capable of controlling the weather”