Two things:
Cigarettes contain ingredients to suppress some of the negative symptoms of smoking. One reason you might have irritation without the cigarettes is because the cigarettes are preventing you from feeling the irritation they cause. Just a thought. It might make sense to see if you can get other medication to help with those issues until you are able to stop vaping too.
Also, hearing that the death of your grandpa caused a relapse suggests you might want to try quitting again, but with some sort of therapy/support. Try the book method again, but make sure you have someone to talk through issues with.
When I was in middle school thieves broke into our house and robbed us. They got some of my dad’s guns and some of my mom’s jewelry. The jewelry hit her hard because it included things her father has given her.
When I was in college I had an amcient, yellow VW rabbit that got broken into a few times. The vent windows had hardware that was just glued to the glass, so you could just wedge something in and pop the glass out. Each time they’d rummage through it looking for valuables. It had to be someone who was a complete moron because I don’t know how else they could imagine someone driving a $50 VW had anything of value.
Eventually we replaced the vent windows with windows from a newer model that had the hardware bolted on and it stopped happening.
Someone also stole the antenna off it when it was parked once. I hope that bastard died slowly of malignant ass cancer that just ate him from the bottom up. The closest thing to nice about that car was being able to listen to the radio, and that son of a bitch took that way from me.