Breathalyzers are for if you want to find out if someone is actually intoxicated.

Field sobriety tests are for when you want to arrest someone who isn’t intoxicated.

I don’t call my parents by their first names. Neither do my siblings.

My kids also use “mom” and “dad”, and we also use “mom” or “dad” when referring to each other parent to the kids.

My wife would call her dad by his first name, but only when she was calling him out for being goofy. In response to a dad joke, for example.

Personally, I don’t consider it a nickname. More like a title that I’ve earned. It’s like calling someone “doctor”. If my kids used my first name, I’d probably give them a raised eyebrow in response.

I’ve seen my rates decrease automatically when a driver on the insurance reaches a particular age. Usually there’s a notice sent.

All that to say, if the job you want exists, you won’t be able to get it because I’ll beat you to it!

I did it, but that was 32 years ago.

Edit: got the degree and started my career. I’ve had to deal with windows since then.

Your best bet might be working in university research centers. You will still have to work with windows, but most researchers are trying to save pennies and you can’t do that using Windows.

I was hired 25 years ago as a systems admin. At the time I was hired, the organization used Macs in offices. Servers were running Linux, Solaris, and OpenVMS, all of which I had been supporting since college. I was valued for most of the 25 years because I could solve problems no one else could, and I did that by writing code on Linux servers.

Now I’ve got a manager who doesn’t believe in writing code to support our users and thinks Linux is a bad word that we should never use because we might have to support it. Still, he’s gung-ho for us to support every new bullshit AI that comes down the pike.

I’ve got 25 years of code on a Linux server that made lives easier, but I have to eliminate it all because linux is bad. At the same time every AI project our group installs needs new Linux servers set up.

They have to. They’re driving.

Personally, I’ve never liked the taste of beer. It’s just not my thing.

I’ve always assumed I wouldn’t like the taste of piss either, although I never tried and I never imagined the flavors would be similar.

I’m left wondering how you determined that beer tastes like piss. Did you do a comparison? Did you do a peepsi challenge?

In high school physics I wrote a parabolic motion simulator. You could set the angle and initial velocity, and it would draw the path of the projectile. I made it so you could set the force of gravity. I also added the ability to set a horizontal force just for shits and giggles.

When I was in gym class later, we were out on the field playing baseball. I saw a ball hit into the wind and the trajectory matched my simulation of the trajectory of a projectile with a horizontal force acting on it.

So, I was pretty pleased by that.

I had a rule for my kids for dealing with bullies in school.

First, tell a teacher.

If that doesn’t work, tell me, and I’ll tell the principal.

If that doesn’t work, deal with it yourself, but avoid causing permanent damage.

I never really expected telling the teacher or the principal would help. I just wanted it on the record in case shit went down and lawyers had to get involved.

I argue with our guinea pigs when they demand their cookie (hay+vitamin C tablets with molasses for a binder) before 5:00pm.

I insist that they can see the clock from where their enclosure is, so they should know what time it is.

I have a rifle and a revolver, but they’re both limited edition items that my grandfather got from a steel mill where he worked, so they’re a “shoot if you have to” kind of thing.

I’d like to have more, because I enjoyed target shooting as a kid. However, they’re not cheap, and I’m not sure I have the time.

At the same time, I’m in the US and the inmates are running the asylum, so I feel like I should have more.

Halloween gets collected and stored. The last bits went to the attic yesterday.

There’s a conversion to Thanksgiving decor, then right after Thanksgiving it all gets packed up, and we convert to Christmas.

Christmas gets packed up and stored sometime before June.

I’m the, “could be worse”, guy for my wife. No matter how bad things are, I can always imagine something entirely possible that would be worse.

I don’t know if it helps her at all, but she seems to be amused by it.

I live in a world of ever-present, looming disaster.

I’m a sysadmin.

Looking at the state of the US right now, calculus wouldn’t be where I’d devote my energy.

I feel like perhaps you don’t know enough people from the entire range of human abilities to understand why requiring calculus might be going too far.

It should certainly be an option, and it should be a requirement for certain career paths, but making it a high school graduation requirement would just unnecessarily result in more people dropping out of school.

You messed up. Plenty of people will tell you that.

I wanted to address the challenge you face with your spouse not accepting that you don’t like change.

I find myself to be much the same, and very occasionally my wife tries to get me to change. I’ve explained it like this:

I don’t like change. I find something I love, and I keep it forever. I don’t want something new. I don’t want something different. I want to keep what I have.

If I say it right and give her a chance to think about it, my wife, who I have been with since I was 16 and she was 15, figures out that she’s ok with me not wanting change.

Whip it out and piss on the desk.

I had to Google that to know what the hell you were talking about.

I don’t know if it would bother you, because it can be noisy, but:

Flowbee

People thinks it’s ridiculous, but I’ve been using one since well before the pandemic. It does as well as a barber ever did.

Some people keep journals. When those people write their autobiographies, they can check the records.

Other people have good memories.

It’s probably also more important for it to be a good story than for it to be 100% accurate.