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Cake day: August 16th, 2023

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  • You’ve already asked yourself what’s the worst that can happen. Now ask her what she thinks is the worst that can happen, and what she thinks would actually happen. Do not correct her or interrupt, and only ask probing questions so that you can better understand.

    I promise you that her answers are not the same as yours.






  • The only thing I want to add is that AA is not the only option, nor even the most effective one. But it is the one with the lowest barrier to entry - you just look up where a meeting is, and you show up. No charge or anything.

    However, if AA doesn’t help (and there are plenty of people where it doesn’t), there are a bunch of other options. Some are very casual group support events (but with a licensed counselor), all the way to in-patient clinics, and everything in between.


  • This is understandably vague. Other people have mentioned the US FBI, but there’s also the NCMEC and IWF. If this is a professional-looking work, you may want to engage the studio’s compliance office. There are a number of very young-looking performers that were confirmed legal adults, so it might be a false alarm.

    If you found something on PornHub or similar (possibly including Facebook), they usually have a ‘Report’ link. If you claim it contains minors, they will likely handle reports to the authorities automatically.

    If you are looking to discuss whether a work contains a minor, outside of an abstract like the Traci Lords videos, I would recommend against it. Get the compliance records from the studio, or report it to authorities.




  • Nollij@sopuli.xyztoShowerthoughts@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    1 month ago

    I remember seeing someone make an argument for leashes, and it stuck with me. Forgive me that I don’t remember the source, so this is paraphrasing at best.

    First, you must throw out all of your thoughts and mental associations with the leash. You must consider this scenario on its own. It has nothing to do with pets, or anything like that. This is about parenting, and only parenting.

    You might see a leash as degrading. And to an adult, or an older child, that would certainly be the case. But these are typically only used on small children who have not yet developed that concept. IOW, the child does not mind the leash, aside from wanting to go where the leash won’t allow.

    You might think that the child’s curiosity is being limited. Kids need to run and be free! But if there were no leash, that wouldn’t be the case. Instead of a leash, a hyper-vigilant parent would be enforcing similar boundaries. In fact, most parents would be enforcing stricter boundaries- if you need to make sure Junior doesn’t run away, you might not let them walk anywhere. The simplest form is requiring them to hold your hand, which is like an even shorter leash.

    Since they can’t just run away, you can even use a long leash. That allows them to run and explore and jump around, and have significantly greater freedoms, all because the string keeps them near enough. They might still fall and get hurt, but that’s part of growing up. And yes, at a certain point, they will need to learn impulse control to stay nearby without a leash. This doesn’t mean a leash is bad, only that it’s not for every circumstance and needs to be retired at some point.

    Now, after all of the above, can you articulate why a leash is always bad? Keeping in mind the child doesn’t mind.