Not all of us ars like that, you know.

Awfully judgemental of you to think poorly of us folk who just happen to like precision, appreciate good engineering or maybe have a small penis and require lavish symbols of wealth and status to prove we’e a more valuable human being than you in symbolic caps lock.

My rolex justifies my existence and represents how worthy of everything i am and anyone who disagrees is a jealous underling rolexless peasant demon.

We’re just better people because we purchased an overpriced obsolete piece of 19th century technology and put it on our wrists.

This time measuring device i display on myself will show my toxic paternal figures and all those peera that disapproved of me that i am not a small child that’s starved for validation, but a big man who is extremely confident.

Also, since i have a rolex, I’m more entitled to all ypur money than you are. Give me your money. You’ll just squander it.

Note to self: buy a 3 dollar casio digital watch and write ‘rolex’ on it with a sharpie. Next time someone with a real one is spotted, compliment their taste, try to force things in common and call them my hero. Request autograph when they leave.

Jesus died for their sins though so it’s ok.

What about white undies?

Yeah i hate voting too.

the car, the coil or the autistic savant?

If they have a good opinion of me I know they’re a poor judge of character.

potato?

maybe you could ask something for me. I’ve always wanted to know what’s the difference between a duck

Yeah, fully aware.

Hack3900 gets it.

Wait, how did you know? Are you my brain slug?

I tried but they kept starving to death.

You’d be surprised how many things you can apply it to.

You know, the usual stuff… Gummy worms are underrated, autumn is the best season, Lemmy’s better than reddit, there’s a big omniscient Pudu in the sky watching over all of us, Elon Musk is an SVR asset, Diddy was a CIA asset and so is 75% of the entertainment industry, non corporeal conscious intelligent entities not only exist, they influence our behavior all the time in our everyday lives, machine elves are the cause of me losing objects; logic is a fundamentally flawed system so we can’t trust anything we think, and economists are just 21st century soothsayers/magi/clerics/fortune tellers for the current dominant imperial religion.

Nothing too exciting.

(raspy zombie voice) Uhhhhhghh uhh If only all my male role models of my family that the CIA assassinated could see me now

According to that article they’re called “yeerks”.

What’s a yerk?

I’ve been told agreeing with me is listed on 6 different sets of criteria of the DSM-5.