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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: September 26th, 2023

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  • I’ve been remote since 2014. Plenty of friends made. Wouldn’t date at work as a general rule, it creates unnecessary risk IMO.

    Certainly wouldn’t eg move in with someone I worked with, etc.

    Then again, being poly and happily married, risk calculus is part of my mental process before attempting to date a particular person. If it goes south, will they show up naked and screaming on my front lawn in the middle of the night?

    Since an angry ex doesn’t have the option of along me look bad to my wife (who also dates), any serious crazy could escalate quickly and creatively. I want nothing to do with that.




  • While we can’t say for sure, I’d certainly be wargaming some possible outcomes and how to respond to them.

    Wouldn’t surprise me if disability for mental health reasons was high on the list of things to cut. It’s effectively an “invisible” disability, which makes it somewhat easier to cut while limiting loss of political capital.

    I wish you all the best getting through the upcoming difficult years. You’re a genuinely good person for caring and thinking far enough ahead to realize the question needs to be asked.

    For other folks reading this, now is an excellent time to review your payroll deductions and ensure you’re paying for private disability coverage - both short and long term. It’s one of the least expensive ways to hedge against the crazy of the next four years.






    1. Suffer through working life
    2. Retire, downsize, go see the world without having to convince a gf/partner

    Nothing wrong with disliking dating, it’s a screwy social ritual intended to use a short series of interactions to determine if this is a person you could trust and genuinely like enough to share everything - including tough mornings - and compromise with for the next fifty years.

    Works for some folks. Doesn’t work for others. I’m happily married, took a couple false starts and youthful indiscretions to get here - as well as the magic of the internet and some long discussions about relationships/commitment/poly/nonstandard stuff.

    Works for us, maybe not for most.










  • It’s already trivial to get local banking details from many countries, (e.g., ‘multi-currency’ debit cards) but as far as I’m aware there’s not a practical way to get a foreign debit card without the usual hoops that the full account would require.

    Probably because demand for such a thing is low - I can generate disposable card numbers on the fly, but only from my home country. Can’t imagine (aside from this specific edge case in question) generating foreign card numbers would be all that useful most of the time.

    End-user support for such a thing would also be a challenge - I’m very accustomed to entering the usual data points with my card, but users would forget the associated postal code, or any number of other things, and then call support whining that it’s ‘broken’.