burgermeister

One way to measure success as an adult can be how much spare money you have and how much spare time your job gives you. In the last few years I have finally gotten into a position where I can afford to pursue some extra hobbies, buy the latest video game, and take the occasional vacation. I feel like I finally am at the place where I wanted to be as a child, but it’s even cooler because I can drink and make my own decisions.

They look so happy and fuzzy and cuddly

Honestly the whole “if there’s no god then how do you know right from wrong” argument is astounding to me, I don’t know how someone can say that with a straight face.

What’s your mother’s maiden name and the make/model of your first car also?

The Rockefeller Street night core remix

Thanks for checking in, Mike

audience loses their shit at this comment- people are rolling on the floor, gasping for breath, beginning to choke their fellow humans out of sheer comedy.

Armed extremist groups are dumb

Good god

Yes: -coolsters -rad dudes -rockin chicks -chill peeps

No: -bilionaires -narcs -finks -Howard (yes you, Howard)