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Cake day: July 18th, 2023

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  • S05E14 of Breaking Bad - Ozymandias.

    I vividly remember watching it for the first time. I’ve had emotional reactions to movies and shows in the past, but not like this. This is like the immediate aftermath of everything coming to a head, and everyone’s acting made the whole episode so immersive. I felt like I was there, and this was happening to my family.

    ::: spoiler Specifically the scene of Skylar sprinting down the street chasing Walt’s car after he kidnaps Holly… or shit, the scene where Walt is wrestling with Walt Jr. over the knife. Or shit, just the realization that Skylar and Walt Jr. have that Walt essentially killed Hank. Everything is just compounded with the immense grief of losing Hank in such a brutish, unceremonious way. :::

    This is still one of my top 3 shows. I’m not good at picking favorites, but I know it’s up there.


  • In the past, i have because my mom would routinely snoop to see if I was still talking to the boy she forbade me to date (I was, and i got more clever about hiding it). The only way she let me keep a phone was if I didn’t put a pass code on it.

    Fast forward to a couple of years after moving out of her house and in an emotionally abusive relationship. That dude ended up putting spyware on my phone (without my knowledge) because… well, idk, control i guess? I was messaging a close guy friend of mine, and my boyfriend fucking blew up at me, which is when I realized he had been spying on me. I wasn’t flirting with my guy friend or anything (we really didn’t have a relationship like that at all). he was just messaging me late at night because his step dad was abusive to him and I was helping him through that tough time. My boyfriend did not allow me to message another male after 9p.

    Those had me paranoid, but can’t say I’m paranoid anymore. I’m married to a guy I trust, and he has my phone password info and I have his. I don’t snoop in his phone and I trust that he isn’t snooping in mine. Not like I have anything juicy in here, anyway.

    But yeah, if you’re feeling paranoid without someone having previously violated your trust, it could be because you are doing things on your phone that you consider to be very private/embarrassing/nefarious? If so, that kinda makes sense I think. If that’s not the case, then respectfully, it might be good to see a mental health professional… life becomes a lot less stressful without worrying about shit like that.




  • I started working at a local restaurant/bar when I was in college. I started out as a server and worked my way to bartender. One of the nights that I was running the service by myself (we had really slow Tuesday nights), this couple came in and sat at the bar. They were super cool, ordered a ton of food and drinks, and we just fucked around and had a great time together. I walked to the back to take their dirty plates away, and when I came back like 45 seconds later, they were gone. Bailed on the tab.

    The little money I had made that day was taken from me to cover their bill. Plus the owners demanded I pay the rest of it with my future tips - i.e. I wouldn’t get any money until it was all paid back. They paid me $2/hr, and they were going to take another $200 of my money. The place didn’t get a lot of business, so it would take me like 1.5 weeks to pay that back without making anything myself. It was a huge punch in the gut. I had worked hard for these guys for at least a year. Unheard of at this restaurant cause most people left after like a month.

    I cried like a baby in the manager’s office when she told me what the owners said, and I quit that night.



  • I’ve been a serial monogamist since I started dating (way back in middle school), and my major relationships have been 1.5 years, 5.5 years, 2 years, and my current relationship which is 8+. My “ones that got away” were actually people that I wish I had messed around with in a no-strings-attached sort of way when I happened to be single. Problem is that I was never single for very long. Should’ve seen that as a personal red flag at the time, but I lacked the maturity and clarity.

    Anyways, it’s not like an active desire I have. I’m really lucky - I’m married to a great guy, and I truly believe I’ve chosen an excellent life partner. Certainly the best fit for me from all the guys I’ve met. Just sometimes I wish I hadn’t taken love and sex so seriously when I was younger, and tried to have more fun.

    If any young person is reading this, get it out of your system! Anybody that’s gonna judge you isn’t worth your time. Just be smart and safe about it, but you’ve got your whole adult life to be serious.








  • I grew up in a poor household, relative to the other kids I went to school with. While I was in public school, I was bullied for not wearing name brand clothing and because all of my school supplies and snacks and everything was generic brand. I became extremely self-conscious about it, and was always trying to hide what I had, or if I found name brand packaging for something in the trash or on the floor, I’d grab it so I could repackage my stuff and pretend like I totally had name brand stuff. As a young adult when I went to college, I only ever aimed for buying name brand stuff, but it was really hard to do so, considering I was still broke…

    Anyways, I eventually matured a little more and realized kids are cruel and the whole thing was dumb. I exclusively go with generic everything now and am, always trying to get the best deal, and I even went back to buying second-hand clothes, cause why not?

    All that to say, maybe some people had similar experiences and just never grew out of it.






  • I went to a really small middle school/high school (this was a charter school that had grades 6-12), and everyone in my grade was pretty tight-knit. When we were 17, one of my buddies had been at a house party with her older 23-year-old boyfriend on a Saturday night. Now, we all knew this guy was a POS, and we were always telling her to dump his ass. But anyways, at some point, my friend decided she wanted to leave the party and go back home, but her boyfriend didn’t want to go. They apparently argued about it, and she ended up leaving the party by herself and started walking. She called her mom to let her know where she was and ask her to come pick her up, when all of the sudden, my friend was abruptly cut off. Her boyfriend had angrily gotten in his car and made a beeline straight for her. Ran her over and killed her while she was talking to her mom. He apparently asked someone nearby to help him load her in the back of his car, and he drove her body to his home and brought her inside. Some witnesses had followed him home and called the cops. They arrested him on the spot.

    The other thing happened when we were 14/15 - same school. There was this badass algebra teacher/baseball coach that we all loved. He had been going over to this girl’s house to “tutor” her for close to a year, but one day her mom found a sext from him on her daughter’s phone. Come to find out, he had been raping her just about the whole time, but also they like basically had a full-fledged relationship. This girl’s mom was one of the admins at our school, and like I had mentioned, it was a really small school, so the staff were something like a family. There was constantly outings and events with all of the staff and their families, so the two of them were able to spend time a lot of time together without raising eyebrows. The girl was 13 at the time, and the teacher was in his late 30s. He got sentenced to 15 years in jail.