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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 20th, 2023

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  • It’s both a behavioural issue and a complex bodily disorder with many external factors…

    Biologically, weight is pretty much an effect of calories in and calories out. If you lock someone up and give them too little food, they’ll generally get thin. The body can’t create fat if you don’t feed it and it can’t work without burning energy. Physics.

    But losing weight when you’re not locked in a cell with someone else controlling your food availability is really hard. Not eating when you’re hungry is hard. The facility of getting healthy food that makes it easier is socio-economical. etc

    It’s like running a marathon is “just” about starting to run and not stopping until you reach the finish line. It’s trivial on one level, really hard on another. It’s simple physics AND a complex web of genetic factors, motivation, knowledge, upbringing, etc

    So most people are technically and biologically capable of losing weight, but most people are also practically and statistically not very successful at it.

    Most popular diets work under controlled conditions, for the people who adhere to them; but most popular diets also don’t work in practice, as it’s too hard for people to diet for the rest of their life.

    Behavioural ≠ easy


  • It sounds like you might have some unresolved issues from childhood. Your family didn’t respect your autonomy so now you’re maybe hyper vigilant about getting controlled by others?

    Not being able to compromise even on small things like where to eat seems like it could become an issue. Do you really care about every little detail like that or are you just in constant defense mode?

    There’s a lot of nice people out there you could safely compromise with on smaller things for mutual benefits, so it can be worthwhile to work on.

    Being aware of it and examining it like you are now is a good first step.

    Perhaps you could try to compromise on something tiny, with someone who hasn’t abused you, and see how it feels?