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You could always scan your dick instead and let the computer interpret it as your face.

There is indeed an app for Android!

I was a phone phreak, and I still have my last old-school brown Radio Shack tone dialer which I’d been planning to make into a red box. Ultimately I was too lazy to swap the crystal in it, and it sat in my junk drawer for years while red boxing died. Now it’s a curiosity that sits on my shelf of hacker books. Maybe I’ll still do the crystal swap someday for the sheer hell of it.

If you’re interested to work on this within yourself, of course getting professional help with a therapist would be best but you could also try some simple exposure therapy on your own. Maybe watch some shows and movies featuring normalized gay relationships. Use that to slow-drip the normality of gay PDA’s existence into your experience.

Here’s a Rotten Tomatoes list you could browse to get started. I think you might want to look for stuff where you can follow and enjoy the plot as well as see gay characters showing PDA. You can try doing this at your own pace to work on slowly desensitizing whatever cringey bit in your mind is having these homophobic reactions and messing with your ability to deal with public reality.

If you are interested in this idea I’d suggest sticking with mainstream films and avoiding porn. Even though it’s really available and even if porn in general is your thing, porn generally isn’t the best way to constructively work on your own sexual education. I think since it’s PDA you’re dealing with you’d be much better off with stuff that can teach your brain about the human side of PDA in our society, portrayed outside of the performative sex acts found in porn.

Public Display of Affection.

Though they’ve announced plans to do so, Loops is not yet federated. It’s presently still a closed site and not part of the Fediverse.

Nosmo King was the stage name of an early 20th blackface comedian as well as one of Carmen Sandiego’s henchmen.

In this situation I might not have gone with the red, white, and black color scheme for the ad.

Just as long as the kid isn’t of an ancestry for which “apple” is a race-based insult.

Haha, I’ll keep that option in mind for next time!

Heroin is not unpopular among celebrity drug deaths.

The Staten Island Ferry is such an awesome ride, though. It’s free and goes past beautiful views of the skylines and the Statue of Liberty.

I live in New York City, and when I’m hosting or hanging with visitors from out of town I always take them to ride the ferry to Staten Island and back if I can.

Spewleology.

Is it a thing at ski places to just ride the ski lifts up and down? I have no desire to ski ever, but I’ve always wanted to try one of those things.

The one pro to Google Authenticator is that its icon looks like a little clenched sphincter, so when prompted for a 2FA code I can say some variation of “well, time to pull a code from the asshole…”

This is the way.

My spouse and I make different amounts, but also have different debt situations. We ran all our numbers and each contribute to the joint accounts based on our ability and needs, and in that way we share our living expenses and build collective savings while still having our own separate accounts for our individual spending. Neither of us is policing the other, we can each buy within our means and maintain our individual financial freedom while also tracking and taking care of our shared responsibilities and savings together.

Can confirm. My marriage to my amazing spouse is the most wonderful gift my life has ever had and lifts me up like nothing else. My past relationship with an abusive partner nearly destroyed me.

“Guys I just hooked up my new set of 5.1 speakers and I’m getting a little buzzing in the subwoofer I can’t track down, what do I do?”

“You should break up, he’s totally cheating on you.”

Hack the planet!