clever & funny bio goes here
Referencing an unpopular future possibility - “that’ll go over like a turd in a punch bowl”
Describing something you don’t miss - “I miss that like I’d miss a case of the clap”
Rain coming in at a weird angle - “this rain is like a cow pissing on a flat rock”
When someone says they wish some specific thing would happen - “wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up first”
When you’re unenthusiastic about something - “I’d rather shit in my hands and clap”
I drink a decent amount of water before bed. It’s hard to oversleep when you have to piss
It was legitimately that fast. I acknowledge my experience may well be atypical.
I procrastinated on it for ages as well, having trouble mustering enthusiasm for starting a six month or more journey for a diagnosis.
My FIL recently passed, and he had a terrible track record of not addressing his medical problems in a timely manner. So I figured, fuck it, why not look into it. I already had an annual physical scheduled in the next week, so I figured there wouldn’t be any harm in verifying with BCBS that my specific plan covered ADHD. Luckily it did. So then I asked my primary care doc about it.
Going into my visit with the psychiatrist, I was fully expecting to need several visits over the space of a few months for an official diagnosis, so I was very surprised after the questionnaires were done that she stepped out (maybe to score against reference? idk), stepped back in, told me I was formally officially diagnosed, and time to talk medication for it.
Who knows, maybe it ordinarily does take a few visits but I scored that well (or that poorly) that additional visits would’ve been superfluous. She did note, with the barest hint of a chuckle, that I paused one of my answers so I could lean over to another chair in her office and straighten out the rug that had gotten bunched up underneath.
It worked out far better than my worst case scenario,
which would’ve been along the lines of “Mr Superduperpirate, you don’t actually have ADD, ADHD, or autism. You’re just a lazy shitbag who needs to pull his head out of his ass and stop being such a whiny little bitch.” Which I know sounds crazy. Any doc outside the military who spoke to a patient in such a rude manner would hopefully face severe enough consequences to dissuade them from doing so.
When I was in early elementary school, my dad would take me & my sister to the local mall. He would get us all books at the Waldenbooks - he would get a scifi pulp novel, I would get a Garfield book, and my sister would get a Calvin & Hobbes book. Then he’d take us to a restaurant there in the mall, and we’d have a nice leisurely lunch while reading our new books.
You are 100% correct
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD (combined).
I am a US resident & citizen. I am covered under Blue Cross Blue Shield. If these details do not apply in your case, what I went through may differ from what you’ll need to go through.
About a month ago, I had a regularly scheduled annual physical with my primary care doc, who is part of a regional physician group. I inquired about what would be needed for exam & possible diagnosis for ADHD. He said I’d need to see a psychiatrist, which their physician group does not have in house, but that I wouldn’t need a formal referral, just find one in-network.
I used the BCBS website to find an in-network provider near me, which happened to be part of a different regional physician group. Called their office to verify they take my insurance. They did, and were able to schedule me for an intake+assessment last week.
I showed up, filled out paperwork, and met with my psychiatrist for a bit over an hour. She had extensive questionnaires to go through with me. On conclusion, she diagnosed me with ADHD combined & offered me my choice of a stimulant or non-stimulant treatment. After discussing my situation in further detail, she prescribed atomoxetine (aka Strattera). I’ve been on it for less than a week. She said it takes time to build up in my system and that it may be a month before I notice any differences. I have a followup scheduled for a month from now, and will presumably have regular followups indefinitely.
My copay for the office visit was $25, and my copay for the prescription itself was around $10-$15. I have very good insurance, so YMMV.
I wish you nothing but good luck on this.
I didn’t have a bully in high school, but my middle school bully is serving a life sentence with no possibility of parole - he broke into an old woman’s house, raped her, murdered her, robbed her house, and got caught because he used her credit cards at the mall.
Chatgpt suggests that with a 0.3mm tip pen, and writing letters no more than 2mm x 2mm, you could fit roughly 1000 names per side of an a4 sheet.
So if you’re fine with the default means of killing, and use both sides of the paper, you could take out about 2000 people.
As far as how I would personally use it? I’d put down maybe two or three names per month. I don’t have the greatest fine motor skills around, so I could fit maybe 250 names per side at most.
Who would I target? Idk. My first thought would be people like Putin & Kim Jong Un, but the concern there is if those two chucklefucks suddenly die, their countries will descend into chaos and there’s no telling what will happen to their nukes.
Most any job I’ve ever had: drop a log on the boss’s desk
Two jobs ago: I worked at a teapot factory. If you walked the length of the plant floor and hit the emergency stop on each production line, that would be a good way to disappear quickly.
Mike: Walter shut the fuck up and let me die in peace
Walter: doesn’t shut the fuck up, to nobody’s surprise
I liked Madame Web.
I know in most places online that’s tantamount to saying you enjoy being mean to puppies & kittens, but I enjoyed the movie.
Why? Because of the precognition plot element. Was it as smooth & impressive as Knives Out? No, but I’m still glad I watched it.
Ha! Not sure how much that would have helped, since I’d have still looked like Peter Griffin albeit with perky boobs.
Drunk: brazenly hitting on a lesbian who was holding hands with her partner
High: one time at the dentist, they gave me anesthesia prior to oral surgery (remember to brush & floss, kids). I was high enough that I thought they were going to give me a boob job instead of a root canal. Because I was high as a kite, I couldn’t really move or communicate, so I just went in & out of consciousness. This was a dozen or so years ago, and I just remember being confused the rest of the day about it.
Part of why it’s so catchy for me is how it samples Suzanne Vega’s hit Tom’s Diner.
Normal conversational speed: dubya
Enunciating: double you
Need to be unambiguous: whiskey
Ah, little Bobby Tables
I get a week and a half off without having to use any vacation time. Ideally, I’ll get to have a day where I can just sit on my butt and not do shit.
Sounds like Murphy’s Law of Replacement Items
I think I was around 10 when I first realized it.
What clued me in was my dad, whose favorite meal was a tuna sandwich and a diet coke, insisting that Santa didn’t want milk & cookies, Santa wanted a tuna sandwich and diet coke.
I’m on atomoxetine (a non-stimulant). I asked my psychiatrist about shortages, and she said it’s really only an issue for the stimulant based medications.