Not so funny when it actually happens to you:
Because of really bad experiences with alcoholics as a child, I am afraid of people who drink. My psychologist and my doctor wrote that down.
When I became seriously ill and could no longer work in my old job, I had to retrain. To do this, you have to go to the German employment office and get an assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, including what your doctor and therapist have to say.
They read the paper from my doctor and my psychologist, but just skimmed over the words and decided that because the word “alcoholic” was there, I must be the alcoholic. They told me that I could get paid retraining and benefits, but only if I attended a therapy group for alcoholics once a week - me, who is afraid of alcoholics because of the abuse I suffered as a child. … I immediately started crying and swore that I had no problem with alcohol, only with alcoholics!
It took 6 months to get someone at the job centre to actually read the papers word for word to find out that me saying “I’m not an alcoholic” was not me being an alcoholic in denial. I got a half-assed apology and my retraining 6 months after I could have started it because of this. Not to mention that every time I refused to go to AA meetings they threatened to take away my benefits and I was in such a bad mental state that I probably would have killed myself without the help of my family. Oh, and my family who tried to intervene were labelled as co-alcoholics, holding me back.
That is terrible and I am so sorry.
They do AA in Germany? I thought that pseudo science was just an American thing.
Group therapy is pseudo-science?
Others have mentioned it, but to elaborate, Alcoholics Anonymous is not merely sitting in a circle and sharing your problems, but a belief system which requires you to submit to a higher power to move forward.
Knew a guy who insisted he wasn’t addicted, but he can’t go a day without attending an AA meeting. 40 years, non stop. Even when in other countries for work, he finds them. Left his own daughters wedding dinner to make it to one.
He runs his own chapter where he lives. He’s had people follow the steps, sure, but some don’t. No matter how successful the latter are, he tears them apart for “not doing it right” and has turned his back on them for not following how he did it.
My lord that is absolutely bonkers and I am so sorry for what you had to go through!
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same with autism (in a social sense not medical).
That is so fucked up. I hate the lack of self awareness the medical field has with regard to the impossible situations it puts some patients in.
I don’t drink
Oh, so you don’t like it when other drink then?
Edit: that’s literally the response my buddy gets every single time it comes up, every single time without fail, even from other people who don’t drink.
What the fuck?
Haha yeah it’s weird how NOT drinking is weird. I couldn’t care less what other people do, nor what they think of me; drinking is just no longer appealing to me
No idea why you got downvoted so bad, I guess I did have the benefit of your edit when I read your reply.
Oof ow my kidneys
Congrats, how many years are you sober?
“I don’t have time for alcoholism—I’m too busy shooting heroin.”
At least your not a Morman
It’s pretty easy, actually. I drink around twice a month. No one could credibly accuse me of alcoholism.
Exactly what an alcoholic would say
Notice how they didn’t say how many drinks? I bet its the wildest bender each time, black out drunk, ends up in the drunk tank type situation, so they tell themselves, I need to stop, and they last a week or two and then it happens again, because theyre an alcoholic
I am glad your recovery is going well
I drink a lot less now that I have easy access to THC.
This goes for a lot of other bad things, too. “Just to get it out of the way, I am not a child molester”.
To be clear, you’re not a child molestor since you got access to THC right?
“I have literally not had alcoholic beverages even once in my life, how would it be possible to become an alcoholic given that?”
You must be a hardcore alcoholic if you had to abstain for that long.
I suppose there’s no way for me to actually know if I’d be particularly susceptible to addiction from it or not, never having tried it
Yeah, same here. I was just making a joking advocatus diaboli argument.
I need some alcohol at least once per month.
Well clearly given your decision, your mother drank with you in the womb and you had fetal alcohol syndrome. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.
Checkmate, atheists.
Only acoholics actually need to try to convince others that they aren’t alcoholics. Nobody goes up to a person on the street to start aggressively asking if they have a drinking problem.
Any serious questions about how alcohol is affecting your life will quickly demonstrate whether it is is or isn’t a problem, without you ever saying that you don’t have a drinking problem.
Sounds like you have a drinking problem…
“What do you mean? I don’t even drink”
I really should reduce my consumption, I’ve always hang around people that tend to get wasted on a weekly basis. Getting tipsy is enjoyable, but more than that is just fucking stupid. I also find it hard to talk about stuff with them, or to do meaningful activities, they just want to drink a lot and act like dumbasses in night clubs. So boring. I should try and find new friends, but I feel like most people act like this, honestly. It’s the same when I hang out with strangers. My hard limit is 3 drinks per night now.
Most people don’t do this. You need to find friends somewhere other than bars and clubs.
I should try and find new friends, but I feel like most people act like this, honestly.
I don’t know anyone like this. All, my friends, and my friends friends, do normal things like go out to eat, do something outdoors, play games, just talk, sit around a fire pit, etc. On a rare occasion a few will get drunk or high, but it is not a regular thing for any of us, sounds like you just surround yourself with 1 dimensional people with little to offer.
I wouldn’t call them “1-dimensional”, and they do have things to offer, but they go out to lose themselves, and drink like crazy. When we do have discussions they’re very interesting, and we sometimes do activities unrelated to drinking, but they’re not willing to go there often. Again, I meet these people at events in bars, so it’s very likely that they’re into drinking. My friends back home have mellowed quite a bit and we do normal stuff now. It’s just hard to meet new people outside school/workplace if you don’t have hobbies and you don’t want to go to bars or nightclubs.
Yeah meeting new people isn’t easy once you’re out of school. If you are outgoing there are definitely avenues though. There are meetup groups for everything. You might not have hobbies, but you still do things. You bike? Go to the local riding meetup. You like boardgames? Sign up for your local open play at a boardgame store. You cook? Take a cooking class at a kitchen store or co-op. Anything you do, there is probably already a local group meeting up to do it.
Find new friends. Not even most people are like this, unless you’re in college age. Even then they are others who don’t want to get wasted regularly
You’re right, I’m 27 in a new country, and I meet people at meetups events (they very often takes place in a bar), so I’m bound to find people that are only interested in getting wasted. I’ve been meaning to pick some hobbies and find friends this way, I should get to it.
I was gonna say the best way to meet new friends is to pick up a hobby, but then you already said it. Go get em.
“Fuck you, I can stop whenever I want.”
It’s because denial is part of being an alcoholic. The same goes with being called a liar.
Except when it’s not. I so much hate this rhetoric. You know what? You can freely think that I am one, and I genuinely think I’m not. If you think that I am one, that’s your problem, not mine. That’s why OP’s question is so hard to answer. Because everybody is just parroting this rhetoric.
And “you are clearly an alcoholic” comments in 3, 2, 1…
You can freely think that I am one, and I genuinely think I’m not. If you think that I am one, that’s your problem, not mine.
I mean that’s exactly the issue lol. You might not be an alcoholic, but if you were there’s a solid chance you’d deny that fact.There is a good reason why parts of the 12 step program involve admitting and recognizing that there is a problem, and it’s not limited to alcoholism but substance abuse in general.
A lot of people who genuinely need help refuses to see or admit that they do.
Nuh uh!
I never drank anythinng alcoholic in my life. Does that sound alcoholic?
Yeah, if you need help we’re there for you
Oh shit. Thanks tho.
That’s exactly what a fuckin boozer would say, also.
Although… I’ve been drinking since about October o’clock… so, what the fuck would I know about it, anyways.
(I say: they can stop anytime you want me to.)
Cheers!
I’ll drink to that?
I have a drink once a month (or sometimes not for a few months) and it makes me feel exhausted. We do a big party once a year and that’s more than enough for me.
