the downsite, even in a major city, is if you don’t fit in with the ‘default’ mentalitiy and looks of your community… you will be socially outcast and youre chances of connecting will be slim/difficult.

I live in a city full of wealthy professionals, and since I’m neither… it’s really impossible for me to make social connections, let alone romantic ones, anymore. When my city was more diverse, it was much easier.

I was literally on a date last week with a woman who was a doctor who immediately dismissed me as having a unworthy career for her lofty status.

it’s also not that easy to leave when you have built up a life in a place for years. you own a home, you have an established job, etc. not everyone can just uproot their entire life like that, nor should they.

Finally, I know this will seem like ridiculous advice to some… but you can also just move. The people you spend your time with are, along with things like basic health and financial security, the most important thing in your life. If everyone around you is a gun tote’n Jesus nut, and you are a godless communist, LEAVE. If everyone around you is looking for their tradwife/tradhusband, and you want to have polyamorous queer furry orgies, LEAVE. Finding your people is 10 million times easier when each of those people live withing 5 blocks of each other rather than 50 miles.