Half of the time I look forward to my death, it doesn’t scare me since I don’t see the real point of my life, what scares me is if my agony would be slow and painful.
But then what? I just stop existing and it’s like I fell asleep? Do I see light? Darkness? Nothing? What is nothing?
Likely just stop existing probably a good thing honestly. Though I do have this thinking sometimes that Earth is actually is hell since we have the freedom to do anything. God won’t bother us here no matter how you prey. While heaven on the other hand means no freedom and complete order, god interacts there. We either came from there already or just randomly sorted and if we die here that is it.