Avoiding the pain and humiliation doesn’t make it go away. Realize that by doing that it will be with you the rest of your life.
The only way to make it fade is to face it, embrace it, admit it, and experience it, with an eye toward learning from it. Then, you can put it behind you. Your mind is trying to do the right thing for you, that’s why it’s nagging you to face it.
My friend loves this saying: An experience doesn’t have to be nice, as long as it’s intense. I kind of hate when he says it. But at times of hurting, I remember, and it makes me go all ironic and sarcastic and I become able to find dark humour and absurdity in the situation. And that allows me to appreciate that my life is rich and colourful, even if it’s not always positive. It gives me stories to tell.
No sweet without bitter, light without dark, etc. The intensity rather than quality of an experience is what engages us. Contrast between cat pics and war crimes makes your feed hit harder
Just don’t try to avoid it or look for distractions. Pain, discomfort, sadness, all the negative emotions are still part of the human experience, those do serve a purpose.
Just experience it, sit with it, eventually the brain gets used to it and stops looking for distractions from it. Kinda like exposure therapy.
I don’t. I embrace it, learn from it, beat myself up for it and try to do better.
How do you embrace something that hurts you?
Avoiding the pain and humiliation doesn’t make it go away. Realize that by doing that it will be with you the rest of your life.
The only way to make it fade is to face it, embrace it, admit it, and experience it, with an eye toward learning from it. Then, you can put it behind you. Your mind is trying to do the right thing for you, that’s why it’s nagging you to face it.
You do it by stopping resisting.
A failure, or mistake, is only a mistake if you dont learn from it!
My friend loves this saying: An experience doesn’t have to be nice, as long as it’s intense. I kind of hate when he says it. But at times of hurting, I remember, and it makes me go all ironic and sarcastic and I become able to find dark humour and absurdity in the situation. And that allows me to appreciate that my life is rich and colourful, even if it’s not always positive. It gives me stories to tell.
No sweet without bitter, light without dark, etc. The intensity rather than quality of an experience is what engages us. Contrast between cat pics and war crimes makes your feed hit harder
Just don’t try to avoid it or look for distractions. Pain, discomfort, sadness, all the negative emotions are still part of the human experience, those do serve a purpose.
Just experience it, sit with it, eventually the brain gets used to it and stops looking for distractions from it. Kinda like exposure therapy.
Of course it’s easier said than done.
Read up on “equanimity”. It’s been a thing for thousands of years. Lots of mediation, buddhist, Taoist traditions etc cover it.
Ask porcupine lovers.