Mine was having the sudden urge to hurl a random toddler who was teetering over the edge of a waterfall.
I used to
rummageruminate often, meaning that many old conversations, arguments, and aggressions lingered in my mind for days and would upset me very much. I went to a psychologist and she was incredibly dismissive so I had to deal with that on my own because I felt ashamed to go anywhere else. Thankfully, I don’t have them anymore or as much as I used to.I think the word you’re looking for is ruminate. The word comes from ruminant animals like cows, who partially digest fibrous plants, regurgitate them, and “chew cud”. Which is what we do when we regurgitate negative memories.
My tool, which works for me but i am not a mental health expert, is this:
When i find that I’ve entered a ruminant thought cycle, I’ll start asking these questions and working through it logically
- Does this memory have something beneficial to teach me in this moment?
- Can I learn any more from this memory?
- The moment is in the past, and I’m alive here and now
- I am the only one who still remembers
- This memory is no longer useful, I will think about something else
- I’ll think about something now, because I’m alive now
I’m sorry your psychologist was ineffective. A good one can be hard to find
That’s a great comment. I go though basically the same steps with my constant flow of embarrassing and/or sad memories
If they’re useful then maybe I should explore this thought for a little longer, or try to speak with someone
If I have nothing to gain from it and it’s just making me cringe or sad I try to do something else to distract myself
It’s important to not shut these memories down immediately. Some memories really need to be explored in order for you to properly leave them in the past. And you can bottle up a bunch of emotions if you refuse to think about thoughts that come to you constantly.
the word you’re looking for is ruminate
I do! I can’t believe I used the wrong one, that’s embarrassing. Thanks for the tips and the correction!
No worries! I used the wrong “your” the other day, all good
Mine has been to slap a stranger. I want to know, what will happen after that?
I did that accidentaly once. We were visiting Scotland and I tried to point out something and accidentally slapped a woman straight in the face. She just cursed and looked at me strangely and walked away.
In college I was enjoying some recreational activities at a house party.
Next to me on a couch was this kid who had like low grade cerebral palsey or something. Like, legitimately, he had those arm crutch things Walter White’s kid had. Never asked what it actually was.
Anyways, he laughs at something and leans back on the couch. And accidentally does one of those back punches like Bruce Lee. Like, where someone sneaks up behind him and he just hits them with the back of his fist without looking.
Anyways, dude gets me straight in the nose, doesn’t stop laughing, gets two inches from my face and screams
You just got punched by a fucking cripple
And just absolutely died laughing.
He was a cool dude, and that was probably the only time he’s punched anyone in his life, and it was absolutely an accident. But it was just hilarious how he rolled with it
Toddler related as well. Wanted to slam his face into the edge of the sink until the screaming stops. It was pretty close a few times.
This is probably normal. Kick it like a soccer ball, slam it into ground, throw out through train window while moving,…
Always felt like stabbing footballs when practicing juggling. Knowing I felt that kind of anger towards inanimate objects was a big reason not to have kids. Destroying your own property is fine. It’s just property. A kid though…
It’s a thing.
Things can literally be “too cute” and it shorts our brains out causing feelings of aggression towards the too cute thing.
Like, how people talk about eating a babys toes, some people are repeating a saying, some are honestly experiencing the urge to do it because their brains are overloaded with cute.
Like in Fight Club where Jared Leto was too pretty so Edward Norton bashed his face in.
It’s not some maladaptive behavior or anything though, it’s just whatever thing you’re looking at is literally too cute for your brain to comprehend.
I should just go on a road trip again. Every time I get on the highway by myself, and I see that open road, I think about how I could just go and take another road trip.
Fortunately, I got a trip to the grand canyon lined up for this fall, if all goes well.
