As a guy, I never really felt comfortable saying those things to anyone irl.

  • Cousin Mose@lemmy.hogru.ch
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    4 days ago

    Coming from the Midwest I don’t think I ever felt uncomfortable expressing any emotions. I could kind of rattle off whatever I wanted to say without too much thinking.

    But having lived in Los Angeles for roughly 10 years now I’m afraid to be open at all. When I first came here I was accused of hacking people’s credit cards twice because here knowing about computers means you’re a hacker. I learned to keep my mouth shut and become a robot; toxic/fake positivity is everywhere here and if you don’t play along then you’re quickly cast aside.

    • Beacon@fedia.io
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      4 days ago

      I spent some time in the midwest and you nailed it exactly. People in the midwest aren’t nice, they’re fake nice.

        • Cousin Mose@lemmy.hogru.ch
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          4 days ago

          Yes, initially I found Los Angeles much nicer but after time felt it was much more fake. You can’t really speak your mind here.

          • Beacon@fedia.io
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            4 days ago

            Wait, you think the midwest is nice for real? That was not my experience at all. I got a lot of nice polite words to your face with a lot of being nasty when your back was turned. Not everyone was that way of course, but it was the very large majority

            • Cousin Mose@lemmy.hogru.ch
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              4 days ago

              Yeah I’m experiencing the complete opposite here. I remember being able to discuss actual topics and not talking shit every time someone turns their back in the Midwest. I don’t remember the last time I felt I could actually be myself here (California).

            • dusty_raven@discuss.online
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              3 days ago

              As someone who has lived in the Midwest, the biggest distinction is if I’m in a city, a suburb, or rural town. People in cities can’t emotionally afford to be genuine to everybody they meet. Rural folk are suspicious of outsiders, but will help you hide a body if you’re in the group. Suburbians can be a happy medium, at least in my experience.

        • frostedtrailblazer@lemmy.zip
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          4 days ago

          I can believe it a bit. I feel like LA gets influenced quite a lot culturally from Hollywood, and it’s morphed into a lot of fakeness, a competitive atmosphere, and lots of people trying to front being wealthy or coming from money.

          I don’t think that’s everyone, but some of my friends that moved to LA struggled with the clicky-ness of the place and another I visited had friends that all were money focused and wanting to flex their wealth or their family’s wealth.