aka: Burglary of your home, Car break-in, Your bedroom getting searched by someone (Parents/Roomates/Housemates/ or even Burglars), Your Backpack, Personal Electronics/Phone/Computer/etc getting searched, etc. (Including any seaches by law enforcrment / security)
Basically, anything that can be considered “personal space”.
Why I ask?
Well… My parent’s car has signs of being searched through last night, I think they forgot to close the windows all the way, and some random thief got in and looking for valuables, nothing of value wa taken, but stuff were all over the car, now I hate the idea of getting into that car again (someone might’ve slept inside the car, blegh 😖). That car feels so “tainted” now.
Like this cant be only my feeling right? Like, you just feel disgusted after someone touch your things against your will (especially if they are strangers).
we had a burglary once. the guy came in the back door while my wife was showering. took her bag, my laptop and a few other things and went back outside. tried to take the car but the key he had semi-miraculously had a damaged chip in it cause it went through the dryer so it wouldnt start. he pushed it down the street trying to start it and couldnt. when we found it the drivers seat and passenger seat were covered with what seemed like dog hair. the cops had to come take it to search it for fingerprints or whatever. we found my wife’s bag down the street having been thrown into the stream. she still has the bag, vacuumed the car out and wiped it down, all good.
another time, i was living in this shared house that had a very serious reputation for having tons of parties with all kinds of drug use. several people were selling out of there (i didnt know at the time). I came home one day to find all of my drawers dumped onto the ground, mattress flipped over etc etc. The cops had come in with their dogs and flipped the whole house. cops standing on my bed in their filthy boots. broken ceramic mugs. i had nothing to do with it and they didnt find anything in my room.
the cop thing was just weird. but, after the burglary, i was paranoid for a good long while, months and months. it goes away after a time. we beefed up security significantly.
the tainted thing youre talking about though, this is psychological of course. theres nothing wrong with the car. people go through shit at airport security and things, it doesnt taint anything. this is a violation of your privacy, sure, but not your personhood. autonomy and personal space is just a concept. deer and cows and foxes and wolves and swarms of insects and people have been in the space that your house currently occupies. its just a spot on the planet some temporary walls have been put up to keep you dry. your house wont be there forever, thats a fact. later, someone something else will live where you house was. their space wasnt tainted by your presence.
just food for thought. if you have a therapist Id suggest mentioning it to them, it can help to talk about it. it almost feels like this about something else that this is a metaphor for, but you’d know if that feels true or not.
anyway, it’ll pass. it happens to everyone.