- becoming (financially) independant of abusive narc parent
- own job and benefits/pension
- own bills and own (no goddamn roomates) place to live
- own pets they have zero fucking say in whether i can keep for the rest of our lives regardless of if they wanna move one of their loser kids they pretend have allergies into muh space which they cant do lol
Nothing. Nothing I’ve done counts, I’m in my mid 30s, and still living with my family, I can’t drive and only have temporary jobs, I don’t have education or desire to learn. I’ll never get companionship or kids. And most likely die alone without leaving anything. Never had sex or being loved or desired by the opposite sex so even that can’t be reached.
Sometimes I feel like the dude who has given up sitting at the Bonfire Shrine bonfire, and other times I feel like Igon as he’s wailing on the mountain side. Never had a good job, and I haven’t been able to stick around longer than a year or two before the bullshit gets to me and I either make a mistake getting frustrated and get fired or quit because I can’t take it anymore. I don’t fit in anywhere, I don’t feel comfortable anywhere, and it’s hard to tell what is truly toxic, or what’s just my own shit because I have BPD, ADHD and am on the spectrum.
I don’t like going into too much detail about my personal life so I’ll mention a few that don’t reveal too much:
- I got the highest possible score (ie 200/200) on an exam that I didn’t study for and set a record
- Got voted as the class rep after a short speech
- I won’t go into detail about this one but it involved persevering and staying determined for years and not giving up. It paid off incredibly well in the end! Tenacity has always been one of my strong points.
Raised one kid in his 20s by effectively co parenting with his mother after we separated.
- Moving out at 16 to escape my abusive home life (after the second time I was hospitalized for injuries from being beaten)
- Getting out of homelessness twice and putting together a career
- Finally finding the correct set of tools in combination with the right therapists to un-fuck my maladaptive behaviors—bad templates that resulted in me repeatedly choosing bad partners as well as sabotaging relationships with a handful of truly beautiful people
I need therapy but I’ve never had a good one. Can you sell me on it? How long before you saw results? How many did you try
Learn about the main psychological disorders. There are many resources online that describe the DSM in plain language. Figure out if you identify with some of the symptoms of a particular disorder. Seek out a therapist who deals with the particular disorder.
Well, that was my method. Doctors and therapists can help us but ultimately we have to heal ourselves.
Ok. Thanks
- Getting a formal education.
- Getting an ADHD diagnosis.
- Learning about self awareness and meditation. Everything else flowed from these three things. Health and education is the foundation of happiness and fulfilment.
Pass my PE exam!
Congrats!!! That’s huge!!
